That's all very well. But from the moment I leave the class it's a real struggle to maintain my spiritual harmony when I am living at home with my parents and fighting waves of pregnancy hormonal angst on a daily basis. It seems to me that every time I attempt to have my daily meditation I am interrupted, and that makes me so mad! Last night I had just settled into the bath, surrounded by lit candles and the new age trance melodies of a relaxation CD. It was tough but I really focused on breathing and positive visualisation. Then my mom shouted my name from somewhere on the other side of the house. I tried to ignore it. But she carried on shouting, because apparently that's easier than just coming to speak to me in person. After the 5th call, I snapped, and sat upright in an angry tidal wave of bath water.
"WHAT?"
"Do you want this cup of tea?"
I was near to tears. My meditation was broken. My positive birth visualisation had gone to hell. My heart was pounding and every muscle in my body was tense.
She poked her head around the bathroom door. I splashed the water in frustration, "If you had bothered to come check you would have realised I was trying to meditate, which is completely ruined now. You have completely destroyed my connection to my inner chi. Why do I even bother to try to relax in this house!"
I hooted in anguish and burst into tears. It was all too much. If only I hadn't ever started that damn yoga course I wouldn't be trying to meditate in the first place, and therefore wouldn't be interrupted, and wouldn't even be so dismally aware of my own inability to relax. I hate yoga.
(until next week when I will attend class once more and love it)
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